As those of you with ladies in your lives already know (at least I hope you know, for you own sake), Valentine’s day is only a week away. For those of you in a relationship or trying to coax a special lady into one, it’s seen as a high-pressure time to make a lasting impression and let her know you appreciate her. A time to pull out all the stops with grand gestures, big dates, and expensive gifts.
But what about all the other days of the year? Yes, Valentine’s day can be a big deal to some…but it’s just one date on the calendar. And, it takes a whole lot more than one big day to keep the romance going, the lust bubbling, and your lady smiling ear to ear on the other 364 days in between. No, you don’t have to move mountains and break the bank account on a weekly basis…but performing much smaller-scale “just because” acts from time to time is more than enough to keep your girl feeling like the luckiest lady alive, and treating you accordingly.
Here’s four simple ways you can keep St. Valentine’s fire burning for your bae on just about any other date on the calendar.
1. Don’t defer to flowers!
This may come as a shock to many men…but every girl is not a flower girl.
A lot of men lean on flowers as THE WAY to show a lady you appreciate her. Now, don’t get me wrong — a very high percentage of women love receiving a nice “just because” bouquet — myself included! Many women love the scent of fresh flowers in their homes and the lingering reminder that the man in her life thought about her enough to pick her up something pretty for no reason at all.
But, don’t lean on that as a one-size-fits-all solution. Flowers are WONDERFUL, but for some women they read as generic, or cumbersome, or pointless or uncreative. Some are even reminded of death, since you essentially watch them wilt and crumble over the next week or so.
So, get to know your lady’s unique likes and play on those for your “just because” gestures. Is she big on sweets? Surprise her with pastry treats from her favorite bakery. Is she a big reader? Pick her up a new book you heard about that she may like to check out. Hell…maybe even give her a nice potted plant or tree to spruce up her living space — it’s much more long lasting than that temporary bouquet.
2. Use your hands!
While V-Day is all about the grand gestures — the fancy dinner, the big trip, getting all dressed up and pulling out all the stops — it’s the little things that carry you through the months surrounding that one special day.
So instead of getting all expensive and grand, get crafty. Are you great with words? Write your lady a letter letting her know how much she means to you and present it to her in a special way. Are you better with photos or graphic design? Put together a collage of shots you and bae have taken or print out and frame up a throwback snap she may not have seen of you two from your Camera Roll. Can you draw? Make her a pretty pic, bruh. Just some give her something that involves a bit more personalized effort than Ubering down to the store.
3. Whip it in the kitchen!
There’s no need to reserve a gesture like this for the big day itself. A detour through the stomach is also an effective route to a woman’s heart. A homecooked meal can rack up MAJOR points with the lady in your life.
Now you don’t necessarily have to make a Thanksgiving-level masterpiece on a random Tuesday after work…but do try to play to her tastes. Does your lady love Mexican? Find a nice recipe for enchiladas, mash up some guac and make her say “ole.” Is she super into Soul Food? Make her a meatloaf, fry up some chicken, ask your mama for her mac & cheese recipe and cook up some greens. She loves Italian? Make sure to get more creative than spaghetti or lasagna, and work it out.
4. Cater 2 U(r Girl)!
Remember that one Destiny’s Chid song from back in the day, all about doing some extra-subservient shit for a dude?
Every man’s dream life, right?
Well, it works both ways. This is 2017…the average woman has a job just as demanding and schedule just as hectic — if not MORESO — as the man in her life. So she may be in need of some of that same catering attention from time to time.
On a day you know has been particularly trying for your woman, help her destress. Make sure she has a relaxing environment in the house…maybe try bumping some calming music she likes, burn some incense and candles and whatnot. Help her take off her shoes, and if you’re not weirdly squeamish about such things…rub her feet. Maybe look into giving her a scalp massage if she’ll let you play in her hair like that. Draw her a hot bath with some bath bombs and pour her up some wine. And remember that dinner you were supposed to be cooking up? Now might be a great time to plate it…
These are just examples. If you know your lady, you know what she needs to be catered to. Make it happen at a time when it’s clear she needs it most.