It’s officially the time to sit back and unwind, the summer time. Hopefully, you know what that means. 90-degree weather, ladies in short shorts and rompers, nutcrackers, day parties and BBQs. Who can resist prime cuts of steak, jerked chicken and hand pressed burgers coming off of a sizzling grill to be washed down with an ice cold alcoholic beverage that tastes like juice in the summer? Not I!
BBQs are hands down my favorite part of the summer, with the short shorts and rompers coming in at a close second place. But I’ve realized that a lot of young men in my age bracket aren’t properly educated on BBQ etiquette. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true.
I’ve crafted a Do’s and Don’ts list to help you make it through this BBQ season without any faux pas.
Never show up empty handed!
I’d need an extra hand or two to count out how many times I’ve seen grown men show up to BBQs empty handed. PLEASE don’t ever be one of these guys. Showing up empty handed to a BBQ is a major no-no, especially when all the food is already being provided for you. I’m not saying that you have to go broke to contribute to the function, but don’t be a cheap stake either. So, if you’re invited to a BBQ or summer time kickback always bring at least a bottle with you. Be clear, I am not telling you to bring a personal bottle to the function, that’s tacky, nor am I telling you to show up with a bottle of Yellowtail or sweet bitch wine, that’s cheap shit. Spring for at least a 750ml bottle of hard liquor. Why? Because good BBQs always have alcohol and women are typically excluded from the bring a bottle rule. That means if half of the men at the function show up empty handed and the other half pull the “personal bottle” or sweet bitch moves the function is going to run dry FAST. If it does you should probably hold yourself accountable for it. In other words, show up to the BBQ or function with a bottle as part of your contribution to the good vibes and a great get together.
It’s summer time and its hot as hell, I get it. But I don’t want to see your feet at the function bro. in an attempt to avoid being the lone man out wearing open toe shoes at a BBQ think over your decision three times before you decide to put on open toe shoes to go to a BBQ. I know some of you are going to give me hell for this DON’T but I stick by this advice almost 10% of the time. However, there are some exceptions to the rule. Exception #1. You’re going to a beach BBQ, if this is the case, by all means, you should wear open toe shoes to the BBQ because the only thing worse than feet at a bbq is sand in my shoes. Exception #2. You’re going to a family only BBQ, shit if that’s the case it’s not like your family hasn’t seen your dogs before, throw on those chancletas. Exception #3. You’re going to some sort of cultural BBQ, i.e. Ghana Day BBQ, if open toes are a part of the culture you’re going to observe/ celebrate please don’t be the odd man out, let those toes flow in the wind. But that’s about it. Those are the only 3 reasons it’d be okay to wear your feet out at a BBQ or function.
My suggestion not to wear open toe shoes is also based on your overall safety. Wouldn’t it suck to have someone with shoes on step all over your exposed toes on the dance floor? Or even worse to have people spilling drinks and food all over your bare feet.If that doesn’t put a disturbing visual in your head, I don’t know what else to tell you. But, trust me!
Use your “Inside Voice” outside
No one likes the loud guy, especially at a chill BBQ. Some of you may not know that you’re the loud guy at the function, but that doesn’t matter. The key to not killing the vibe at a good cookout is to not be the loud guy so make sure your inside voice is your default for the day or night or both. This tip will help you avoid a lot of unwanted attention in a group setting, regardless of the size.
Disclaimer: You don’t have to listen any of the advice or follow the suggestions given in this thread, or website for that matter. But, if you don’t you’ll only have yourself to blame for being the loud cheap stake with the open toe sandals that drank the last of the henny at the best BBQ of the summer. Ha!