Simple steps to avoid being the worst type of guy…
Guy meets girl. Girl is interested, so is the guy. They exchange pleasantries and contact information. He texts first knowing that she won’t. She takes hours to reply in an attempt to play “hard to get”. This goes on for a week or so until he gets up the nerve to ask her out for dinner or some drinks.
To her, he’s attractive, well spoken and charming. To him, she’s beautiful, a little self-centered and very opinionated on things that don’t matter, with very little to no opinion on things of importance. But, she’s beautiful and worth getting to know.
Date 1 goes well. He walks her to the door and doesn’t even go in for the kiss. What a gentleman. In reality, he doesn’t kiss her because he doesn’t want to lead her on.
Date 2, he wears hard bottom shoes. She’s impressed in her form fitting dress. They laugh and smile a lot. She’s even more intrigued while he’s slowly losing interest. He walks her home anyway, she invites him in. It starts with a drink, followed by a kiss. Next thing he knows he’s knee deep in it and she’s hooked. By the time they’re done he’s regretting getting in too deep and she’s wishing he got in a little deeper.
At this point, he should speak on how he feels, but against his better judgment, he continues to take her on dates until he can no longer tolerate it. A few weeks or months have gone by and he ends their situationship. 24 hours later he’s the biggest fuckboi Twitter, Instagram, Reddit and SnapChat have ever known…
Where’d the guy go wrong?
There are many ways to get this point across, but none more effective than just saying it. Be upfront and honest with all women from the start! That’s the best way to avoid the dreaded title/ nickname “fuckboi.”
Over the course of the last year the term fuckboi has grown a very fast pair of legs and took off. Any guy that’s ever done anything conceived as wrong by a woman is now a fuckboi. My issue with this is that there’s no definite definition or criteria associated with being a fuckboi. Cheaters are grouped in with the guys that just aren’t that into you and honest about it. All crimes and some misconstrued actions receive the same punishment, confinement to the Fuckboi Penitentiary. Now, let me be frank…some of you absolutely deserve to be called fuckbois, because you are! But those of us who actually aren’t out here just breaking hearts for a crack at the kitty, we need an opportunity to separate ourselves.
In an attempt to help widen the gap and distinguish the difference between a King and a fuckboi, I put together this list of ways to avoid falling into the ranks of the fuckboi army.
1. Just tell her what you want!
As a man I can tell you, it’s easy to assume that most women aren’t down for no strings attached situations. But!!!! If that’s what you want you don’t have to lie about it. Tell her what you want and give her the opportunity to decide if she’s down for the cause. What’s the worst that can happen? She says, “nah” you keep it moving. No harm, no foul.
2. Even a blind man can see…
Don’t play coy or naive. Even if she agrees to just be down for something “strictly physical” don’t take her quick answer at face value if you know there’s more there. If she’s shown you lots of attention, admiration and frequently throws hints that you’re “a keeper” don’t be dumb. She may only be agreeing to something physical with the certainty that she can change your mind. Don’t get caught up. These kinds of situations only end one way, with you as the Fuckboi because you had good hands and her feelings got caught.
3. Don’t send “Mixed Signals”
You’ve established that you’re not interested in a relationship and she’s down for that. Great! Now it’s imperative that you’re mindful of your behavior with and towards this young woman. You shouldn’t ask her to be your Maxine but treat her like your Synclair [Living Single reference] and expect for her not to catch feelings. For those of you too young to understand that metaphor, you can’t ask a young woman to be your no strings attached honey but treat her like your Queen and expect her not to fall for you. Mixed signals are foul play, wether you’re aware you’re sending them or not, and the quickest way to be branded Fuckboi of the year.
4. Be Faithful!
Fellas, if you’ve got a woman that you’ve agreed to being committed to, stay true to your word. Believe me, I know how tempting things can be when you’re in a relationship and every pretty little thing is throwing the kitty in your lap. BE STRONG! Say no, not me, not now. “Excuse me Miss, please don’t touch me on my body!” Fight those urges to play with every playboy bunny looking your way.
If you can’t, break it off with your girl and save her the embarrassment of Jessica or Kela catching you in the act and sending her snaps of your sloppy mistakes. To some, that might not seem like any better of a solution. Trust me, if you leave before cheating she may still respect you, but if you cheat on her she may never acknowledge your existence again.
5. Fail Safe
If you’ve managed to follow all 4 steps and are still being called a Fuckboi there is only one more piece of advice I can give you. Settle down! Find a Queen and keep her happy. I’ve never once heard of a man being labeled a Fuckboi for settling down with someone that makes him happy.
– Joe Chea